I have been trying to write my first post for a while, but like most things, I aspire to do I engage in the battlefield of my mind. I sit down to start typing and my mind decides to wander. Thoughts about my spiritual journey and the constant feeling of not being enough, my life past, present and future, my ailing career and passions, housework, my ever-growing to-do list. I begin to doubt myself, listening to thoughts such as no one’s going to read it, your grammar is incorrect, you’re not making any sense, that’s stupid, embarrassing. My doubt turns to anxiety and I begin creating and telling myself stories, creating worst-case scenarios if I proceed with anything I want to do or achieve, telling myself I have absolutely nothing of any value to say and before I even notice judgment and criticism have joined in. So I stop! The story of my life reduced to everything other than pursuing my dreams and passions.
My mind has prevented me from doing so many things I think to do, want to do or dream to do. As I speak (or write), I’m hoping the story of my life is changing “the old has passed behold the new.”
I’m really happy to say that once again I’m on the road to recovery. I’m hoping that this will be a part of my continued effort to share the highs and lows and the good bad and ugly part of my journey.
This blog is about the new chapter in my life.
I hope you will join me where I hope to talk about my relationship with God and how it has helped me with my mental health as well as opening up about my life, and the general journey towards better mental health plus everything else in between.
c7azybeautiful 