Sometimes we need to go backwards.

I wrote my first post in November which was a pretty big step toward talking about my Mental Health Journey and though I would have written another one by now. I guess it just wasn’t the right time but I had to check and I had written to posts which are probably incomplete because I’ve left them in the drafts folder for whatever reason. Anyway managed to get through Christmas and New Year without too many incidents and I made it through January without an episode of mania. Not sure if I should be happy or sad, I guess baseline will have to do. I completed a pretty great mindfulness therapy course, did not complete a managing with depression course because it was depressing and I’m about to start DBT reluctantly.

I am still feeling like I have a lot to get off my chest. I have waited over a year and a half for therapy and I’m disappointed it’s taking so long as I feel I was left to implode for 19 months which delayed my recovery. Like other occasions, I didn’t have the motivation or energy to make a formal complaint but I still feel like I should express the treatment and service I’ve received. I’ve been told it can help to improve services but It also means me reliving and rehashing details which can sometimes be a trigger. The other day I had to read a psychological report and partway through I had to stop because I noticed more than a few inaccuracies.

I ask my family and friends whether I’m right or wrong in my thinking or opinion and for the most part they agree with me but can’t give me the answers to the things I keep going back too. I’ve decided that I’m going to share all my positive and negative experiences on here but its only fair to start from the beginning so my next post will be me starting from the beginning hoping I’ll be able to make sense of certain things and finally be able to move on.