Spinning Out

A recommendation on an Instagram post had me on Netflix watching the first season of “Spinning Out” last week.
“A figure skating Olympic hopeful struggles to balance family, love and fragile mental health as her dream of winning takes a dizzying hold.”
Nine episodes where the lead character Kat, battles with her Bipolar Disorder alongside her mums too. As well as the pressures of competing, relationship issues with family, friends and boys, while trying to keep her disorder a secret make this series a gripping life-like portrayal of a life lived with Bipolar.

I have to admit while it was interesting to watch; it also had several moments that triggered me. Watching manic episodes had me reliving my own experiences of heightened confidence, overspending, some reckless abandonment! (Still wondering how I can harness the mania just for the increased confidence) Then the crash: Where you have to deal with the repercussions; trying desperately to repair the damage done while trying to remember and make sense of lost memories.

The thing that still kind of drives me crazy and often has me in a loophole of trying to remember the moments I lost time, yet still, I try to piece the pieces of the puzzle together to make it make sense. I was listening to secondhand information which didn’t fit the narrative or occurrence—a series of unfortunate events that, to me, felt fortunate and miraculous at the time. Back to the Future go I.